Humpty Dumpty

A broken heart that all the kings' horses and all the kings' men can't put back together again. I was married and an instant mother at the age of 19. Two years after marrying Bret, he was laid off from his job of eleven years. He worked through a temp agency and was hired on with AT&T. This job sent him out of town - months at a time - I saw him 2 months in one year. My family had moved and so there I was living in a trailer with a toddler, no family or husband. I turned to the only person that could fill the emptiness in my heart Heather, my firstborn. We became extremely close. We weren't mother and daughter we were sisters and best friends. We would play Barbie's for hours and hours and hours...sunrise to sunset. When her daddy would come home she was so jealous. It was hard watching her as she felt betrayed by her mom and this person who she called daddy give so much attention to each other. When Heather was 4 yrs old I became pregnant with our 2nd daughter Holly. Once again it was just the two us. I was too pregnant to work, still no family, a few friends and husband on the road. So we played Barbie's, games, baby dolls, house...sunrise to sunset. The bond between us was stronger than any bond I have ever had with anyone. This bond remained strong through out elementary school, middle school and high school. She had to have her mom with her on all the field trips, band trips...you name it. Me and my shadow were inseparable. So I thought. This little shadow would stand so close to me that if I moved I would crush it or block the sun and hide it. I turned around the other day to make sure my shadow was ok and it was gone. I have lost it and can't find it. I didn't step on it or block the sun to hide it. It left me. I wished I could sew it back on like Wendy did for Peter Pan. I need this shadow more than she'll ever know...she has fallen in love for all the wrong reasons and can't hear me for the fireworks going off in her head...I just hope that someday soon she'll reach up and grab my hand. I will hold it so tight that she won't ever get away again...