Be Careful What You Say

i mentioned in the post below about having a bad week etc...last night as i laid in bed, i realized how different the house felt-no laughter, music, sound or warmth...nothing. complete silence-even with the family here. then i realized i didnt hear the birds sing, feel the sunshine or breeze blow or see the world in color. everything was in gray and the sound is on mute.

i couldnt sleep and didnt want to watch tv. i laid in bed wanting so much to see the stars and moon. i saw was nothing. i couldnt feel the pillow under my head or the blankets covering me. i felt cold and alone. all i could feel was the heaviness of my broken heart. all i could hear were shallow breaths - it hurt too much to breath. all i could hear were the hurtful and painful words spoken. all i could feel were the tears running down my face...all i could remember is "its your fault." maybe i should have chosen my words more carefully.

words are so dangerous and powerful. they cut and penetrate much more deeper than a sword or spear. when a sharp object enters the body, some of the tissues are cauterized-seared during entry therefore, the pain doesnt spread quite as far into the wound. not words...words cut and penetrate the soul. you dont receive a battle scar for bragging, all you get is the numbness and reminder of how deeply they hurt and linger inside.


i tried to tell to bret how he hurt my feelings but he didnt hear me. instead he told me how it was my fault and i did it to myself - at least thats what i heard.

the girls kept asking me what was wrong and i said nothing but they knew i was lying. at the time, i couldnt find the right words to say all i could do was be quiet and exist for the moment. i couldnt laugh or even pretend that everything was ok.

this morning i told holly what was wrong. i didnt try to sugar coat it. i told her the truth. i told her how the day may go but dont worry, everything will be ok eventually.