Who Am I?

I feel so empty and my heart is heavy burdened, breaking with pain. Who is the person I look at each morning in the mirror? My friends and family see me as outgoing, fun a social butterfly. Deep down I'm nobody.

I often wonder why I exist, why not end it now. Stop all the charades and pretending...I'm tired of trying to fit in somewhere I don't belong. Then again, where do I belong? I need to realize that I cannot impress people. I'll never be that someone...I'm nobody.

What do I have to offer? I have no knowledge of math, science or language. I don't have the degrees that will make me a success. Who am I? Nobody.

I'm not the trophy wife, super mom or award-winning actress...my husband loves me but I will never understand why.

I have not been the example or role model mother for my two girls. I have let them down miserably. I thought I was doing them right by being involved with their activities. But, was I? Do they appreciate me being there or do they put up with me-just because. Do they accept me as..."mom" or am I "MOM"!

I can't go on living this way. My heart is crying, sobbing but no one hears. I try to hide the tears with a smile...a task that grows harder and harder to do each day.

Today is no different than yesterday. Only a reminder that here I am...still pretending...still a nobody.